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Improving Interpersonal Relationship (Understanding Interpersonal Conflict…
Improving Interpersonal Relationship
Communication Climates in Interpersonal Relationships
Communication climate refers to the emotional tone of a relationship
Confirming and Disconfirming Messages.
Confirming response - messages showed that you are valued
Disconfirming response - opposite
Recognition
Acknowledgement
Endorsement
How Communication Climate Develop
spiral - a reciprocating communication pattern in which each person's message reinforces the other's.
Escalatory conflicts spiral - a way that disconfirming messages reinfoce one
Creating Positive Communication Climates
Evaluating versus Description
Evaluating communication - "you" language
Descriptive communication - "I" language
Example: "you" don't know what you are talking about.
Control Versus Orientation
Control - occur when a sender seems to be imposing a solution
problem - communicators focus on finding a solution that satisfies both
Strategy versus Spontaneity
(manipulation versus honesty)
Superior vs Equality
Certainty vs Provisionalism
Understanding Interpersonal Conflict
Nature of Conflict
conflict - struggle between 2 independent
Expressed Struggle
Ex: my friend and I usually have conflicts about a disagreement between views on sports.
Perceived Incompatible Goals
Ex: As authors, we have to struggles on how to use the limited time.
Perceived Scarce Resources
Interdependence
Styles of Expressing Conflict
Direct Aggression - confront the other in a way that attacks his or her position.
Ex: "that is a stupid thing to do."
Nonassertion - inability to express thought and feelings in a conflict
Ex: I can't talk back to my teachers in Vietnam even when they are wrong since it is considered as respect towards the elder.
Passive aggression - more subtle
Indirect communication - conveys a message in a roundabout manner.
Assertion - handle conflicts by expressing their needs, thoughts,..
Some of my friends usually express their thoughts in a fight, and it worked sometimes!.
Characteristics of an Assertive Message
Behavioral Description
Your Interpretation of Other Person's Behavior
Description of Your Feeling
Description of the Consequences
Statement of Your Intention
Gender and Conflict Styke
Origins: Evolution, or different heart rate and blood pressure
Conflict Dilemmas
Difference Online
Ex: Boys use more assertive language and girls use cooperative language
Commonalities
Conflicts in Online Communication
Disinhibition
Ex:"flame war"
Delay
I personally don't like when someone stop answering my message in a middle of a conversation
Permanence
Ex: emails, messages
Cultural Influences on Conflict
My friend and I always have problems with taking their shoes off when entering a house.
Ex: Individualistic cultures have their goals and rights important, while some culture considered freedom of speech to be annoying
Managing Interpersonal Conflict
Solutions
Win lose - when one side achieve their goals
Ex: women usually win the fight since the men don't want to maintain the conflict (stereotype).
Lose - lose - neither side achieve their goals
Compromise
Win-Win
Steps in Win-Win
identify your problems and unmet needs
Ex: Someone you care that lives far away has not contact you. Now, it is important for you to voice your partner the problem and be clear about it.
Make a Date
Describe you problems and needs
Partner checks back
Solicit the other's need
Check you understanding
Negotiate a solution
follow up on a solution