Chapter 10 Communication in Close Relationships (Intimacy in Close…
Chapter 10 Communication in Close Relationships
Intimacy in Close Relationships
Gender and Intimacy
Women are more concerned and better than men at developing and maintaining intimate relationships. Women are generally more interested than men in achieving emotional intimacy and are more willing to share and commit. Men are more likely to create and express closeness by doing things together.
Culture and Intamacy
Contemporary notions of intimacy vary from one culture to another. Some cultures have rules governing social relationship interaction. Cultural differences in intimacy are becoming less prominent.
Dimensions of Intamacy
Comes in different forms, Emotional (sharing important information and feelings), physical (affection), intellectual (sharing important ideas), and shared activities (sharing experiences). Some relationships don't show all of these qualities.
Social Media and Intimacy
Relational intimacy may develop more quickly through mediated channels than face-to-face communication. The relative anonymity gives us a freedom of expression that might not occur in face-to-face meetings. Allows for constant contact with loved ones.
Communication in Friendships
Friendships, Gender, and Communication
The first person you had as a friend was most likely the same-sex as you. As we get older our communication differs for men and women. Cross-sex friendships offer us a chance to see how the "other half" lives, and offer a contrasting kind of interaction to same-sex. Friends with benefits is equally likely to men and women, and they avoid discussing the status of their relationship.
Friendship and Social Media
Social networking sites are used primarily to maintain current friendships or to revive old ones, rather that to build new relationships. Typical online adults have more than 200 Facebook friends, younger adults have larger Facebook networks (some over 500) Although it helps us stay in touch with each other, it doesn't substitute being there with them.
Types of Friendships
Short versus long term - some falter or fail without face-to-face contact. another reason for short term is due to a change in values. Task versus maintenance oriented - we sometimes pick friends because of the activities we share(task) grounded in mutual liking and social support, independent of shared activities (maintenance). Low versus high Disclosure, low versus high obligation, and infrequent versus frequent contact are dimensions of friendships
Communication in Successful Friendships
Expectancy violations is instances when others don't behave as we assume they should. The closer the relationship the faster you tell them news. When you tell them the news or vice versa there needs to be an appropriate reaction whether it's comforting, celebrating, or supporting. Be there for them. Give appropriate apologies and be willing to forgive when it comes to relational transgressions.
Communication in the Family
Patterns of Family Communication
Every family is a system with a way of communicating with each other. The families system depends on the interdependence, the sum of its parts (and how they change when with other people), and they can have even more systems within the main one. Conversation orientation how much a family favors an open climate of discussion of a wide array of topics. Conformity orientation is the degree to which family communication stresses uniformity of attitudes, values, and beliefs.
Effective Communication in Families
Managing the connection-autonomy dialectic is like when your child grows up and you have to deal with how it used to be cool to hangout with their parents but then it no longer is. Enmeshed is when cohesion is too high (too little interdependence), disengaged is when your disconnected (limited attachment or commitment to one another. Boundaries help to cope with dialectical tensions.
Creating the Family through Communication
Our family stories reflect beliefs about work, family identity, and warnings. Stories can reflect how a family member relates to one another. Some family rituals can be centered on celebrations, everyday life. Rules help you to know the boundaries.
Communication in Romantic Relationships
Characteristics of Romantic Relationships
Triangular theory of love has three components, Intimacy (closeness and connectedness), Passion (physical attraction and emotional arousal), and commitment (decisions to maintain a relationship over time. Relational commitment is a promise to remain in a relationship and to make that relationship successful.
Effective Communication in Romantic Relationships
Love languages - each person has a particular notion of what counts as love. Love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, physical touch. Communication through social media can help with relational maintenance. By communicating regularly through texting and calling, we are making an effort.