Everyday Conversations

Small talk

Sensitive to leave-taking cues

Short sequences

Similarities rather than differences

Noncontroversial topics

Elaborate answers

Be positive

Dialogue, not monologue

Good way for noncontroversial topics

Answer with more than just one word. Give the other person to respond on

For example, don't just say "yes" or "no" if you can put more into it

No one likes a doomsdayer

Introducing people

Reluctant to self-disclose

Culturally sensitive

Forgetting someones name

Rank differences

Admit you forget and ask them to tell you it again

You don't have to reveal your relation to the person you are introducing if you aren't comfortable

Be careful how and when you introduce someone.

For example, if you introduce someone with their first name, be consistent with it. Don't use a nickname until they are comfortable

The person of lower rank is introduced to the higher rank

Apologies

Empathize

Give assurance it won't happen again

Be specific

Avoid excuses

Be apologetic

Appropriate channel

Admit wrongdoing

Own your actions, don't blame someone else

Mean it when you say "I'm sorry"

Say what you are sorry for

Don't make excuses or "beat around the bush"

Understand how the other person feels

Own what you did

Excuses take away the apology

Don't talk the easy way out

For example, if you can apologize face-to-face, do it. It will mean more than a text or over social media.

Complimenting

Giving a compliment

Receiving a compliment

Be totally complimentary

Moderation

Be specific

Be real and honest

Be personal

Say what you mean

Say what your complimenting

For example, say something like "I really like your shirt!"

Compliments that are to extreme may be seen as dishonest

Give a personal reason why you are complimenting someone

Denial

Accepting

Totally deny it

Minimize it

Ignore it

With a smile

Saying "thank you"

Personal reflection

Advising

Giving advice

Responding to advice

Be tentative

Ensure understanding

Keep it confidential

Empathize

Avoid should statements

Listen

Listen to the speakers thoughts and feelings

Try to feel what the other person is feeling

Give advice with the qualifications it requires

Seek feedback after giving advice

Don't tell them seeker what to do by saying "should"

For example, say things like "you could" or "you might"

For example, after giving advice say something like "does that make sense?"

Avoid negative responses

Interact with the advice

Express appreciation

Accept the advice

Accept the advice. If you don't like it, don't follow it

Don't retaliate or criticize the advice giver

Talk about the advice with the giver

Express your appreciation to the advice giver

For example, when someone gives me advice, I always tell them how thankful I am that they are willing to help me and give me advice.