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Five Principles of Conversation (The Principle of Dialogue: Conversation…
Five Principles of Conversation
The Principle of Process: Conversation Is a Developmental Process
Opening
Greeting messages
Phatic communication: a message that establishes a connection
Feedforward
General idea of the conversation's focus
Identify the tone of a conversation
Business
Substance or focus of the conversation
"Business" is used to emphasize that the convo is goal oriented
Feedback
Reflect back on the conversation
Signaling that the "business" is over
Closing
Reveals how satisfied the participant was with the conversation
Good-bye messages
The Principle of Cooperation
Quantity Principle
Be only as informative as necessary
Give neither too little or to much information
Quality Principle
Say what you know or believe to be true
Assume the that the other person's information is true
For example, when someone tells you about their vacation, you believe them because you weren't there to know if it was true or not.
Relation Principle
Talk about what is relevant to the conversation
Manner Principle
Use terms that the listener will understand
Be clear, relatively brief, and organize your thoughts
The Principle of Dialogue: Conversation Is Dialogic
Dialogue
Each person is both speaker and listener, sender and receiver
Objective is mutual understanding, supportiveness, and empathy
Monologue
One person speaks and the other listens
Focused only on his or her own goals and has no concern for the listeners feelings
Respect
Allow that person the right to make his or her own choices
Avoid negative criticism and judgements
Avoid negative comments towards peoples comments
Use positive reinforcement
For example, don't say things like "You're a bad speaker" or "I didn't like that explanation"
Acknowledge the presence and importance
Ask for suggestions, opinions, and clarification
Ensure that you understand what the other person is saying from their point of view
Avoid manipulating
Don't change the conversation to get someone to say something you want to hear
The Principle of Turn Taking: Conversation Is a Process of Turn Taking
Speaker cues
Turn-maintaining cues: help maintain the speaker's role
A gesture that shows you are not done with your thought
Turn-yielding cues: tells the listener you are finished
A gesture or cue word to tell the listener they can respond
Listener cues
Turn-requesting cues: let the speaker know you want to talk
Turn-denying cues: reluctant to take the role of the speaker
Back-channeling cues
Used to communicate various types of information back to the speaker without taking the role of the speaker
For example, when I am listening to someone tell a story, I will say things like "Oh, really" or Uh-huh" so they know I'm listening.
Interruptions
Attempt to take over as the speaker
For example, I was talking in my ethics class one day and what I said must have made my classmate mad because she interrupted me and said how she felt before I was finished.
The Principle of Politeness: Conversation is (Usually) Polite
Maxim of tact
Don't impose on others or challenge their right to do as they wish
Maxim of generosity
Confirm the other person's importance
Maxim of approbation
Praising someone of complimenting them in some way
Maxim of modesty
Minimizes any praise or compliments you might receive
Maxim of agreement
Seeking out areas of agreement and expressing them
Maxim of sympathy
Expression of understanding, sympathy, empathy, supportiveness, and the like for another person
