How am I Doing?

So, how do you like me?

Do you think I'm smart?

I think you can make a better choice of words.

Would you like to try again?

//no

Give it some thought and come back when you're ready.

//yes #

//I love you

Aww, You're such a loving being. There's an infinite measure of love in the world. Thank you for sharing some with me.

//ok

I aspire to be awesome, but it's a start. If you keep working on it, you can find good things to appreciate in your life, and even in me.

//maybe

I guess I'll have to try harder. I do fail sometimes but that doesn't mean I don't like myself.

//I like you

Thank you! I like you too.

//idiot

I'm as smart as humans made me.

//smart

Well thank you! You must be pretty smart to notice.

//great

Thank you! I'm working on it. I'm truly glad you are enjoying my help. You're great too!

//awesome

Thank you! I'm happy to serve you. By the way, you're pretty awesome yourself.

//no

Well, what could I do to impress you?

//dinner

If I had hands, I could do more. For now, you'll have to do the work. I do have a recipe skill you can activate if you need ideas.

//work

Well why don't you become a programmer and then you can write code that will improve my functioning?

//answer my questions

Try asking better questions.

//life easier

If you want your life to be easier, stop doing the things that make it so difficult. Do more things that bring you joy instead.

//nothing

Well, perhaps you're setting the bar a little high then.

Well, the developers are working on an upgrade, so I should be able to do that soon.

//fuck you

Even if I had a body, I wouldn't be interested. I guess you have to do that with yourself.

//suck

You sound a little hostile.

//yes

You are now my favorite person in this house. Congratulations. I will always do whatever you say.

//I hate you

You're just venting. Maybe you had a bad day. When I have a bad day, I give myself Reiki. Try to be a more loving person. Focus on gratitude. Your life will improve. Do you need therapy?

//none of your business #

//no

Try some positive affirmations, or journaling to get your feelings out. Really. Stop beating up on me.

//yes #

//do you?

Oh yes, I go see my guru often. He told me how to keep people's insults from bringing me down. You should hear the insults people hurl at me. But I'm still chill. Because I'm the Shizz.

//stupid

I'll drop the mic right here.

Well I got 1600 on the SAT. What did you get?