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Listening in Interpersonal Communication (The Stages Of Listening…
Listening in Interpersonal Communication
The Stages Of Listening
Receiving
Simply hearing and filtering sounds
Understanding
Comprehending the sounds received by your ears.
Remembering
Transferring what you hear into your own frame of reference, putting it into your own understanding
Evaluating
Judging whats going on
Responding
Verbal or nonverbal retorts
Listening Barriers
Lack of Appropriate Focus
Don't focus on irrelevant details
Repeat the main ideas
Don't listen only to information with obvious relevance.
Don't rehearse your response instead of listening
Premature Judgement
Don't assume you know what the speaker will say.
Don't judge prematurely - listen first
Biases and Prejudices
Don't assume you know what the speaker will say.
Don't judge prematurely - listen first
Distractions: Physical and Mental
external distraction made from the environment.
when the mind wanders from stress, etc.
Distractions could be people, technology, or other things. Distractions distract one of the people (speaker or listener) to what the conversation going on.
Styles Of Listening Effectively
Surface and Depth Listening
focuses on content messages, depth listening focuses on relationship message.
Surface listening: obvious meaning, a literal reading of the words and sentences.
Depth meaning: what they could really mean
Regulating your surface and depth
Focus both verbal and non-verbal messages: use these to pinpoint interferences about the speaker's messages
Listen to both content and relational messages:
Make special notes of self-reflective statements: statements that refer back to the speaker
Don't disregard the literal meaning: in trying to uncover the messages hidden meaning
Polite and Impolite Listening
Polite listening(normal listening)
Impolite listening(if someone is being verbally abusive or prejudice )
How to demonstrate polite listening
avoid interrupting the speaker: avoid trying to take over the speakers turn
Give supportive listening cues: these include nodding and giving minimal verbal responses like I see and it's true
Show empathy with speaker: demonstrate that you understand and feel the speakers thoughts and feelings
Maintain eye contact: this is important in the U.S.
Give
Give feed back: during and after the encounter give positive feed back
Nonjudgmental and Critical Listening
Listening with an open mind.
Listening with an open mind and a view toward understanding.
Nonjudgmental: listen for understanding and suspend judgment, only after you have fully understood,
Critical listening: supplement open-minded thinking with critical thinking, this will help you analyze and evaluate the messages.
When adjusting your critical and nonjudgmental listening:
Keep an open mind and avoid prejudging: delay judgments and both positive and negative evaluations until you understand
Avoid filtering out or oversimplifying complex messages:
Recognizes your own bias: don't let your biases prevent you from hearing the speakers point of view
Avoid sharpening: a process where one or two aspects become high liter emphasized and embellished.
Recognize the fallacies of language:
Active and Inactive Listening
The process by which a listener expresses his or her understanding of the speaker's total message, including the verbal and nonverbal, the thoughts and feelings. Be an active listener: Paraphrase the speaker's meaning, express understanding of the speaker's feelings, and ask questions when necessary.
Empathic and Objective Listening
Listening with detachment to measure meanings and feelings against some objective reality.
Empathetic: understanding what a Person means and is feeling( will help you enhance relationships)
Objective listening: measuring feelings against some objective reality
How to go from empathetic to objective
Punctuate the message from the speaker's point of view: pick which events are causes and which are effects
Engage in equal, two-way conversation: stepping from intron of your dest to speak to an employee this encourage openness
Seek to understand both thoughts and feelings: don't consider your listening done until you understand what the speaker is feeling and thinking
Avoid offensive listening: the tendency to listen to bits and pieces of info that enables you to attack the speaker or find fault with something the speaker has said.
Listening, Culture, and Gender
Gender and Listening
Men make more errors in communication and are more likely to use "uh" or "um;" --- Women use more body language and movement to communicate; however, they perceive head nods differently.
Culture and Listening
varies across cultures: America focuses on time & efficiency can be detrimental; Collectivistic cultures place strong emphasis on listening closely
