Listening in Interpersonal Communication
Listening in Interpersonal Communication
4.1 The Stages of Listening
There are five stages to listening: receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating, and responding.
When listening all the stages will over lap since you using all the stages at the same time when listening.
Receiving: Where is begins, but does not end. Should try to focus attention, maintain your role, and avoid assuming you understand.
Understanding: When you understand what the speaker is saying and meaning either from thoughts or emotional tone. Try to see the speaker's messages from the speaker's point of view, rephrase/ paraphrase, and ask questions.
Remembering: You can remember by their taking notes at like a job, but not when its between a personal conversation. Using your memory is sometimes tricky, but how you remember is very important. It's how you remember what is said and the remember how it is said. Our mind has short-term and long-term memory. Easy ways to help us to remember better is by focusing our attention on the central ideas, organizing what we hear, unite the new with the old, and repeat things like names or key ideas.
Evaluating: When evaluating you may not even know your doing it. It may come off as judging even. Some ways to help with evaluating is resist evaluation, assume that the speaker is a person of goodwill, and distinguish facts from opinions.
Responding: This occurs in two forms: responses you make while talking and response you make after talking. Some easy ways to let your person that you'r listening too is express support and understanding, use varied cues that say "I'm listening," own your own responses, and avoid the common problem-causing listening responses.
4.3 Four Listening Styles:
We all have different listening skills when listening to certain things. Like you would not listening to a speech from our president the same way you listened to your friend who's just having a casual conversation. We must have a purpose and knowledge when listening to someone.
Empathic Listening: When listening we must have empathy for the listener. It is important to know the listeners feelings, but also try to keep your own emotions under control. Try to when listening in these situations is see from the speaker's point of view, engage in equal, two-way conversation. and seek to understand both thoughts and feelings.
Polite Listening: It is a given when listening that we show politeness to the speaker, but in some cases there are times when the speaker is being rude or abusive when talking so then you do not have to be so polite back. Some suggestions to help with demonstrating polite listening is avoid interrupting the speaker, give supportive listening cues, show empathy with the speaker, maintain eye contact, and give positive feedback.
Critical Listening: We must have an open mind when listening to someone and think about it before jumping to conclusions. Some ways to help with this is by keep an open mind, avoid filtering out or oversimplifying complex messages, recognize your own biases, combat the tendency to sharpen, focus on both verbal and nonverbal messages, and watch out for language fallacies.
Active Listening: Some functions of active listening is that it helps you to check understanding of what the speaker is saying and meaning. You also show the speaker that you are acknowledging and accepting his or her feelings. Try to avoid things like ordering messages, warning and threatening, preaching and moralizing and advising. You must also stimulate the speaker to explore his or her feelings or thoughts. Some techniques are that you can paraphrase the speaker's meaning, express understanding of the speaker's feelings, and ask questions.
4.2 Listening Barriers
Distractions; Physical and Mental: Some physical barriers could be things like hearing impairment, a noisy environment, or loud music. You could be multitasking. Mental distractions are similar to physical. They could be like thinking of an event that is coming up or becoming too emotional.
Biases and Prejudices: You listening to the speaker through stereotypes. This could be things from race, age, gender, or orientation.
Lack of Appropriate Focus: Try to focus at the main idea of what the conversation is about. Do not think about nonsense things but what the topic is about. Use other perspectives while listings, just not at what is being said. Anticipate how you're going to respond to what they are saying.
Premature Judgment: A common thing to do when listening is we try to assume we know what the speaker is going to say. Try to listen first then judge later. We can't be quick to judge when we do not know the whole story.
4.4 Listening, Culture, and Gender
Culture and Listening: No two speakers are exactly the same when they talk. Everyones language is different and some words that are said can mean two way different things, so it is good to try to understanding that they are saying. Different cultures can have things that are called display rules that govern how you verbally and nonverbally talk.
Gender and Listening: Men and women both have different ways on how they listening. Men may not show so much attention when listening instead of the women when she is listening. It is often known that women are the better listener, because they are always being asked questions since they are the ones that mostly take care of the children. Men tend to listen more at his job then other things.