Please enable JavaScript.

Coggle requires JavaScript to display documents.

Body Language is King (http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/power_body…

- - - - questions to open them up, grab their attention, make them work for a solution, and engage them in the process; rhetorical questions to have them link gaps; statements to give them few other solutions and direct their focus, keep them passive.
- - - - An imagined experience that contains experiences and sensations that you want the person to feel will result in them feeling that way.
        Visualizing is particularly useful when working with emotions because images evoke emotions. When you want a person to experience an emotion, get them to recall a time when they experienced the emotion.
        One reason why visualization works is that it is all-consuming. When the person is imagining a picture, they get so engrossed in the detail and the experience, they forget to resist.
        
        this is why "Do not be afraid"doesn't work to aleviate the anxiety. Focus/attention is reality, meaning energy goes where we direct our focus/attention. The conflict of gain/loss in approaching someone is also this dual-sided conflict of attention, so words like "just be cool". subconscious/conscious conflict. what we want vs what we need (who we want to be vs who we are) conflict. Better is to say "Be relaxed", but that focuses too much attention on "be", and one starts to wonder how to "be", what processes are involved. So, even better than that, is simple commandments: "breathe", "cool", "relaxed", "happy", and you will have an easier time enacting though emotions because you have mental models of what those adjectives mean and what they require of you. Takes away the construct of ego by removing "I am ... happy" the first part of that statement". http://changingminds.org/techniques/hypnosis/principles/forced_cognition.htm princple of forced cognition and how to best avoid it
        
        http://changingminds.org/principles/assumption.htm
        
        http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/self-fulfilling_prophecy.htm pygmalion effect
        
        http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/confirmation_bias.htm
        http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/self-verification.htm Use confirmation of their self-concept as a way of developing trust or rewarding desired behavior.
        People need to seek confirmation of their self-concept. This is true even if the self-view is negative and is in conflict with the desire to maintain a positive self-view. In this conflict, the self-verification wins.
        We even will prefer to live with people who maintain our self-concept, which may explain why some people live with a partner who is abusive and unpleasant. --->if you want someone to change, first ASSUME (out loud) they already exhibit and value the behaviour/traits/attitude you want them to/you perceive them to have, then make them see that changing some aspect of behaviour isn't in conflict with this, but one step closer to being in alignment with their values/wants/goals/needs (incremental change is less hard /mentally taxing than what is experiened as big steps/changes)/i.e. have them live up to the standard you want, by saying they already have it, but right now aren't in alignment with themselves. Tell them their current behaviour is not in alignment with what they value (really, what you value for them), and then address the pain of their current situation.
        
        http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/cognitive_dissonance.htm
        Cognitive dissonance is central to many forms of persuasion to change beliefs, values, attitudes and behaviors. The tension can be injected suddenly or allowed to build up over time. People can be moved in many small jumps or one large one.
        
        Cognitive dissonance is a very powerful motivator which will often lead us to change one or other of the conflicting belief or action. The discomfort often feels like a tension between the two opposing thoughts. To release the tension we can take one of three actions:
        Change our behavior.
        Justify our behavior by changing the conflicting cognition.
        Justify our behavior by adding new cognitions.
        Dissonance is most powerful when it is about our self-image. Feelings of foolishness, immorality and so on (including internal projections during decision-making) are dissonance in action.
        If an action has been completed and cannot be undone, then the after-the-fact dissonance compels us to change our beliefs. If beliefs are moved, then the dissonance appears during decision-making, forcing us to take actions we would not have taken before.
        Cognitive dissonance appears in virtually all evaluations and decisions and is the central mechanism by which we experience new differences in the world. When we see other people behave differently to our images of them, when we hold any conflicting thoughts, we experience dissonance.
        Dissonance increases with the importance and impact of the decision, along with the difficulty of reversing it.
        ALTERNATIVE THEORY TO DISSONANCE: SELF-PERCEPTION THEORY
        Self-Perception Theory provides an alternative explanation for cognitive dissonance effects. Vhanging people's attitudes happens only when two factors are present:
        They are aroused, feeling the discomfort of dissonance.
        They attribute the cause of this to their own behaviors and attitudes.
        If you want someone to believe or feel something about themselves, first get them to do it. This works best when they have no particular view about the area in question. If they already have a strong view, you will need to call the view into doubt, for example by giving disconfirming examples.