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Foundations (Part 7 (Implementing a Habit (Realize you're not cut from…
Foundations
Part 7
I view it as socializing, I don't have a strong outcome in mind, I'm not looking for a reaction from anybody, I'm having a good time, I'm enjoying myself, and I'm going to meet women naturally.
Implementing a Habit
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You might not be that smart, but other people aren't that smart either.
What one man can do, another man can do.
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Tell myself, "This is fun, this is my hobby, I'm going out and I'm meeting people." When you're out you want to be having fun. You create a good vibe within your own group, so that you have a good vibe to share in other people's groups.
State
The Warm Ups: You say "the first 3 don't count. I'm going to go out and do my first three approaches."
New clothes, hairstyle, etc., having a wingman with you..
Identity is a concept in your mind that relates you to, and separates you from your social environment.
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State Continued
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Competencies
Whenever you have something that you can do for people, you'll feel more in state because you'll know they want something from you. So you have that anticipated acceptance.
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Identity
When on an identity level you know you deserve it, because it is JUST WHO YOU ARE. This is Core Confidence.
This doesn't depend on how I look, how I met somebody else's standards other than my own, doesn't depend on who's in the venue with me, doesn't depend on if you have these cool stories, doesn't depend on if you've got somebody with you that looks up to you, It's simply a part of who you are.
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Social pinging is an unconscious process that is going on at all times where we are constantly looking out into the world and seeing what is normal.
When you have a strong frame, people when they socially ping you can sense your belief and who you are and what you're doing and the way that you are acting, etc.
In any social interaction, there is always one person who has someone reacting to them, more than they react to that other person.
Whoever is reacting to the other person more, probably has lower social value, probably less attractive to the other person.
This is why when you are in state, you are so indifferent to how the woman reacts, she can feel that off of you, she can feel that vibe off of you, she can feel it in your pupils, voice, she can sense that you're not reacting.
And when you can sense that that person is not reacting to you in any way, it draws you into their frame. It draws you to take on their belief systems.
To me the guys that get girls are guys who have their own style, their own way of interacting, and they don't try to live up to other people's standards. They draw other people into it. AUTHENTICITY
When you really have that understanding when someone is not cool with you it's their problem and not yours, because you truly understand that you sorted out who you are and what you're about, that's when you don't have this sort of state fluctuation anymore.
Why do you care what people think?! It's because you're coming from a position of insecurity. It's because you're coming from a position of scarcity.
By trying to micromanage that, you can't win. You are shooting yourself in the foot.
To me a person who is a value giver means someone who offers value not with FAVORS, not with ENTERTAINMENT, but someone who offers value by their PRESENCE and their INDIVIDUALITY.
This is what being a pick-up artist is like. It's like you got these pressures on you to impress and meet other people's standards, and they're pulling at you and pulling at your mind. When you know who you are on such a deep level and you know what's real to you, you understand that nothing is a threat to you. And because you understand that nothing is a threat to you, you can bring that side out of yourself.
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Part 2
Nerd Thinking
"I can learn the magic lines to get women, jump out of the shadows, get one, and take her back to my nerd-lair."
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"I've never accomplished anything in my life, I don't like myself, and yet I can't understand why I'm not good at this."
Cool Guy Thinking
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I will become a better person for women to be with, inside and out.
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By going out often you build social strength, internal strength.
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To be good with women, you really have to put yourself out there. You really have to put your personality on the line.
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If You Can't Do Clubs
Some guys can't do clubs because they have a lifestyle or occupation that makes it inconvenient or impossible.
If so, you must find any social gathering where you can meet women easily.
That varies from city to city, but wherever you are go out and find a place where meeting large numbers of women is realistic so that you can practice.
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Female Psychology
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Girls live in the emotion of the moment and backwards rationalize (we do too, but more in other areas)
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Part 6
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A great way to calibrate where a girl's at is to lean away, lean off a little bit and see if she is coming towards you.
Phone
When you call a girl you might feel apprehensive because you don't want to lose the validation of her liking you previously.
Realize that regardless of her reaction, it doesn't devalidate that you did a great approach.
Also realize that she may have liked you in the moment but could have a million reasons not to see you again (boyfriend, too inconvenient, etc...)
Phone Continued
The other reason you might feel apprehension is because you can't read her body language or see what she's thinking like you can face-to-face.
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When you start a phone call, jump straight into a story. This way she gets warmed up to open to you.
Phone Continued
If you have trouble on the phone you can use what you talked about on your last call to get your mouth moving.
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Through trial-and-error, you will eventually get a sense for when a girl is up for a second meet, and you'll know when to suggest it.
Phone Continued
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It's not a bad idea to keep your computer near by and have a brief ledger of each girl and what you talked about.
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Day 2
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A day 2 should be casual, and if you can do something fun that doesn't involve money then all the better.
Day 2 Continued
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It's a great idea to bring her to your house, then leave, and come back later.
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Part 3
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Congruence Test
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This can happen often in environments where people are drunk or with girls who are used to guys putting them on a pedestal.
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Winging
Accomplishment intro, or joke merge, or swap out
Accomplishment intro: whatever it is you say about him, make it big. (Whatever cool thing he did)
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If one of the friends is having fun and the other not, more often than not, even if the friend likes you and your wingman is screwing up, your girl will leave.
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Open Continued
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Handling a rough landing with breaking rapport, pacing, and humour
Part 4
Open Continued
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Engaging late comers (don't go backwards, but engage them quickly)
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Do what you feel and come from a position of realness, and you'll get a great result.
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Part 1
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Who Am I Now?
I identify myself as a guy who is always evolving, striving to be my absolute best, and living life to the fullest.
I am now what is called a "natural" with women, which means that I require no "openers" or "lines" and I am usually approached by women a few times a day.
I am different from a natural, in that I have a conscious understanding of the structure behind what I do.
How Are Most Guys?
Has a scarcity mentality, and thinks that the one girl he likes is the only one he could ever have a real connection with.
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Part 5
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Phone Number
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"You know what? You're drunk aren't you? I liked you and would have called you, but you're too drunk and you'll forget about me. Are you drunk right now? If I call you, will you remember me?"
Phone Number Continued
"You are either one of the coolest people I've met in the longest time... Or like just a total weirdo. I'm curious about you now."
"For the same reason that we're having a great time talking right now, is why we both have to go. We both have friends that are waiting for us, because we're social people. But now we have to go. Get out your phone. Call this number so I have your number.
Part 8
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You can offer value without giving your power away because you know that you have your own things going on, you don't need anything from anybody, you'd be dictating that exact same positive vibe around you whether other people are there or not.
There's 3 spaces in any interaction. There's you, there's the other person, and there's that empty emotional space in the middle where both of your values dangles.