M14 (3) (TRANSFORMATIVE
LISTENING (• They have to find their own meaning…
• They have to find their own meaning and be the ones who do the work
• Listen until you disappear
• Release control of the outcome
• The space you create through listening creates space for others to heal
- ACTIVE LISTENING
• 7% verbal, 38% tone of voice, 55% body language
• Listen in between the lines (that gut feeling)
• Listen twice as much as you speak; focus on understanding
• Active silence, tone and body language that they're not even aware of (people haven't taken the time to process what's going on)
• Reflection: Repeating back what a client says; letting them know you heard them verbally and non-verbally; by repeating what they said (using some of their exact phrasing) - triggers them to think about what they said more deeply and why they've said it
• Acknowledge non-verbal cues - Sounds like you're really frustrated and disappointment (springboard for them to go deeper)
• Provides clarity, creates flexibility, builds trust, help clients connect the dots
- HIGH MILEAGE QUESTIONS
Stay curious & go with your gut (ask permission - Is it okay if I ask you this question… I feel that this could be a helpful question for you, and you don't have to answer it and I might be completely off base
• High milage questions: 1. Where do you feel stuck? | 2. Can you say more about that? | 3. If you did know the answer, what would it be? | 4. And then what? | 5. What is comfortable about where you are now? | 6. What would you need to move forward | Be willing to be wrong as a coach & be weary of relying too much on questions
Step 2: After the week is over, reflect on any patterns you notice. Choose one action step that you can do to improve your sleep. Try it for the next week.
Be a “go giver.”
Arianna Huffington recommends three steps to add more virtue to your life in order to become a “go giver”:
Make a personal connection with someone you wouldn’t normally connect with.
Give small kindnesses throughout the day.
Focus on all that you’re grateful for.
Pick one of these steps to concentrate on and take at least one small daily action on it this week.
- Activate your parasympathetic nervous system.
Excess stress keeps the adrenal glands working tirelessly and often leads to a disruption of sleeping patterns. To help give your adrenal glands a rest, choose one new calming activity to participate in this week that allows the parasympathetic nervous system to kick in. Consider deep breathing, forest bathing, stretching, meditating, or any other activity you find relaxing.
• Your energy level throughout the following day
- Investigate your sleep needs.
Step 1: Get familiar with your sleep-related habits by keeping a sleep diary for the next seven days. In each daily entry, be sure to include:
• Number of hours you sleep each day (include naps)
the quality of your sleep (on a scale of 1 to 10) - Optimal with *8hrs & 30 min to get asleep and 15 minutes to get up
how well your sleep habits align with your sleep needs (waking up with an alarm vs. naturally, staying awake when you’re tired, etc.)
In addition, choose a few of the following items that may be relevant to you to think about:• Time and amount of caffeine and alcohol consumed
level and amount of physical activity
activities you do each night before bed
*Best when physical activity is in the morning, and only one cup of green tea in the morning• Preoccupying thoughts you experience before bed
dreams you remember and how you interpret them
*Best when I've meditated before bed and journaled and cleared my mind - no thoughts about family issues
Whether you feel your bedroom is already a sleep sanctuary or just looking at it makes you anxious, make 2 or 3 improvements that will make your space feel more peaceful. Here are a few ideas:Choose darker curtains or try a sleep mask.
- Refresh your bedroom.
View your bedroom with a fresh pair of eyes. What feelings does the room evoke? Is it calm? disorganized? cluttered? Does it promote a restful night’s sleep?
Buy a plant.
Rearrange your furniture.
THE ART OF LISTENING
EFFECTIVE COACHING TIPS
• Hold a heart-centered space & allow silence to do the work
• Let clients come up with their own answers
• Practice eye contact
• Listen twice as much as you talk
• Active Listening: Being fully present, focusing your awareness on understanding, and hearing without filters or judgement
• Reflective Listening: Message sent is the same as message received; Gives both a chance to get clarity; Mirroring helps you hear both verbally & nonverbally (read between the lines & notice client's feelings, emotions, and body language)
Everyone needs a different amount of sleep to feel energized throughout the day. There are often both positive and negative connotations related to people’s sleep needs. Some people wear their minimal need for sleep as a badge of honor (“I only got five hours of sleep last night!”); others believe they can’t function without a solid ten hours each night or may even make an effort to nap when extra sleep is needed. When was the last time you thought about your relationship with sleep? What connotations do you apply to your sleep needs? How satisfied are you with your sleep relationship?
Arianna Huffington shares that improving her sleep was a “keystone habit” in her life. In other words, improving her sleep was the habit that made it easier to change other habits. Have you discovered your “keystone habit”? What is it? If not, what do you think it might be?
Discussion: Eat Right, Sleep Tight
The food and drinks you consume can directly impact your quality and quantity of sleep. Do you ever notice that you feel particularly sluggish or energized after eating certain foods? What foods do you like to eat for a good night’s sleep? What foods do you avoid? How does the timing of meals affect your sleep quality?