Please enable JavaScript.
Coggle requires JavaScript to display documents.
Correcting & Teaching Your Kids In Love (E) FAMILY ENVIRONMENT: (2)…
Correcting & Teaching Your Kids In Love
A) Self-Check:
What Kind Of Parents Are You?
Give Orders = All limits
Give In = Shifting Limits
Give Up = No Limits
Give Choices = Freedom within Limits
(according to AGE)
E) FAMILY ENVIRONMENT:
1) Way of Communication
CONNECT & COMMUNICATE
:check:
CONNECT BEFORE CORRECTING
1) Be Available, Give Attention
Connect (even when BUSY):
4) Family Time
regularly & intentionally
5) Pre-Sleeping Talk
with kids
3) 5 Love Languages
- Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Quality Time (Individual dates with children)
2) Verbal Affirmation & Encouragements
- Timeliness
1) 3 Sec rule
- Eye contact even when you are busy
2) Encourage & Praise Child More
3) Show Affection
4) Set Family Time w/ Kids (to express thanks, appreciate & understand each other)
5) Talk With Kids
6) Do activities together (not screen time)
7) Body Language
Open-Ended Questions
(instead of Closed-Ended)
Communicate With
Acceptance
Use "DO's "
, not "Don'ts"
Talk With
, and not Talk At
Make Home A
Safe Place
for Kids (Physically, Emotionally, Relationally)
Reflective Listening & Labeling Emotions
:no_entry: Reactive Response?
:check:
Reflective Response
on Child's feelings / struggles?
(Attentiveness)
:no_entry:
5) Parenting Trap
1) Do the kids get what they want, because they throw tantrum / whine / persist in nagging the parents?
2) Do we bribe our kids for they for them to obey us?
2) Ways of Correction
1) Pleading too much?
2) Too much emotions?
3) Threatening?
4) Lecturing?
:check:
DISCIPLINING Children:
1) Don't Compare
2) Realistic Standards?
3) View behaviours as SIGNALS of NEEDS
4) Value the child
5) Help your child build a sense of responsibility
6) Give your child GUIDED CHOICES
INTENTIONALLY IGNORING TANTRUMS / WHINING
: especially child is trying to get attention through crying / nagging = Don't talk / look, without attention & not react, when problem stops, give attention & praise,
PERSIST.
:check:
CORRECTING the BEHAVIOUR:
1) Acknowledge children's emotions
2) Give useful information (specific behaviour)
3) Explain why it's not appropriate
4) Talk about your feelings
5) Teach the appropriate behaviours (Focus: Clearly express what needs to be done)
6) Request for response from child
7) Do not add belittling statements - "stop acting annoyingly, no-one likes it"
3) Instructions
1) Too many?
2) Too few?
3) Too hard?
4) Poorly Timed?
:check:
LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES
to be laid out:
1) Why
s/he will be punished?
2) DURATION:
For how long?
3) Reward sooner
4) Choose logical consequences
RELATED
to misbehaviour
5) Options for logical consequences:
a) Natural,
b) Make amends,
c) Give Choices
:no_entry:
4) Accidental Reward:
Do we accidentally affirm / encourage undesirable behaviours / actions?
:check:
6) Parents as a Role Model
How do we parents
connect / communicate / deal with conflicts
with each other?
B) CAUSES / INFLUENCES
of Children's BEHAVIOUR:
1) Family
2) Genetic Make-up
3) Wider Community / Society
C) Understand Your Child:
1) Developmental Age
(Set age-appropriate limits & freedom): Too much too early is not beneficial
2) Every Child is Special
3) Need to be respected
4) Emotional Expressions
5) Capacity to learn: Growth Mindset
Core Principles:
1) Having a
SAFE, INTERESTING , LEARNING ENVIRONMENT
2) Having a
REALISTIC expectation
3)
Self-Care as a parent
D) Foundation of
Parent-Child R/ship based on "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
:check: :check: :check:
CHECK: possible
REASONS for UNDESIRABLE BEHAVIOURS
:
2) Rebellious
?
3) Misguided Power
?
Do we give them more power / freedom that is beyond their age / maturity?
4) Assumed Inadequacy?
Are we doing too much for the kids?
1) Attention Seeking:
Do they get the attention needed with positive behaviour?
1) AFFIRMATION
=> SIGNIFICANCE
2) AFFECTION
=> LOVABILITY & SELF-WORTH
3) APPROVAL / ACCEPTANCE
=> SECURITY
4) Autonomy WITH ACCOUNTABILITY
= Self-Esteem AND Characters