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Friendship & Romance (Theories (Fiske Types of relsp (Communal sharing…
Friendship & Romance
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Social support: Stroebe
Instrumental: actively helping with something, e.g. proof reading an essay
Evaluation: reducing uncertainty/anxiety, e.g. helping a friend decide which 3rd year modules they should take
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Interpersonal attraction
Factors
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physical attraction
more attractive ppl: better relsps at work, earn more, judged to be happier, receive more attention, more ppl like them
effects larger for women & earlier on in the relsp: as time passes, physical attractiveness less important
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we find average looking ppl more attractive/ average of 2 ppl found more attractive than original 2 (opposite of on Sims)
also, bilateral symmetry (down middle face), big eyes F, strong jaw M, waist-to-hip F, waist-to-shoulders M, wearing Red is attractive
Matching hypothesis: Goffman: how much do u want it & how likely is it that u will get it?: partners tend to be of equal attractiveness
Theories
Why Need to belong: Baumeister & Leary: evolutionary need which can be satisfied (like in Sims): social interaction drives social cognition & there will be negative effects if needs not met
How? attachment theory: Ainsworth: secure, avoidant, resistant/anxious.
Social Exchange Theory: maximise rewards and minimise cost: not a socially desirable theory but seems to be true... also satisfaction w relsp depends on comparison to other relsps e.g. if one friend gives u more than u give them u will be more satisfied with the relsp and will feel less satisfied w other relsps
but we don't all like the same ppl: so cant be so simple: we each have different priorities, needs and desires which lead us to be closer to certain ppl
transactive memory: division of labour e.g. partner loves to cook so you don't worry about dinner, you pick up a movie to watch after
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Hendrix imago theory: we chose partners who resemble our parents in both positive and negative attributes
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Fiske Types of relsp
Communal sharing: meet individual needs, e.g. close family :recycle:
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Equality matching: based on fairness and reciprocity, e.g. friends :recycle:
Market pricing: get out what you put in, e.g. at work
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Baxter: communication is key as ppl have diff preferences in relsps and if they don't match up it can cause issues... relational dialectics
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Loneliness
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young people may socialise more and yet feel more loneliness, hence contact time does not equate to loneliness
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comparisons e.g. 'yes I spent a lot of time with my friends today, but then they went out with their other friends and socialised more than me'
contact time may increase loneliness if the ppl have nothing in common/ if it is a negative social experience
Attributions are important: it's the difference between "they couldn't meet up today because they are very busy" and "they didn't meet me today because they don't like me"
Expectations also important: e.g. anxiety makes ppl not want to go out alone as they expect that they will feel awkward or embarrassed.
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Lack of support
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RE: Divorce: how do we know that it is loneliness prior to separation which causes issues & not psych trauma during bad relsp?
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social support as a buffer: Cohen & Hoberman lower physical symptoms of stress in high support groups
Romance
Aronson types of love
Companionate: intimate, affectionate, deeply caring, not necessarily aroused in presence (e.g. mature romantic relsp- long marriage)
Passionate: longing, fulfilling, limerence (romantic obsession), physical arousal
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