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Aubrey's Dating Profile (Pros: (Smooth as Barbie's clam (Organ…
Aubrey's Dating Profile
Cons: none
Pros:
Aweomeness
commonly finds forgotten money in pockets
gets a free ride home from the bars with the Calio's driver
Quadruple-lingual
Latin
Romance
Ancient Persian
Old Norse
foul
Killed Bin Ladin
Commonly rescues puppies/pandas from burning buildings
Smooth as Barbie's clam
Signiture won a Pulitzer
Reached the top of the stairmaster
His shadow has been on the ‘best dressed’ list twice`
Organ donation card also lists his beard
Lumberjacks are jealous of is beard
Beard is naturally cedar cented
Is allowed to talk about fight club
Regularly takes Joe Biden and Dick Cheny to the cleaners at poker
Ranked 7th in the world at Call of Duty
Directed an all amputee production of Black Swan
Banged your mom
Great sense of humor
Doesn't have mono
Chops wood
Gave CPR to Harambae
Dick is still out
is raising Harambae's ape children
Created Mug 217 Curriculum
Interests
Rocks
Teaching Earth Science
Interdiciplinary Methods Class
Plate Tectonics Unit
Bacon
Bacon Weave
Bacon Bikini
Beer
Women's Rights
Tits
Nico's mom
Captain Underpants novles
Recording softcore porn
Boobs
Favorite Beer
Old Milwakee
Milwakee's Best Ice
Guiness
Guiness Blonde
Blondes?
Royal Kilt Inspector
Brooklyn Lager
Boston Lager
Iron City
Special occasion beers
Shower beer
Pocket brew
Poop shotgun
Starting geology work beers
Brass Monkeys
Romantic Date
Mug Night
Best Pals
The Pope
Matt Shatt
Danny Ocean
Bigfoot
Criminal History
Robbed the Bellagio
Stole Town of Union cleaning supplies
Pet Peeves
Warm seats
Pubes on the toilet seat
Unsymmetrical beeramids
Rounds
Work Experience
Town of Union
Fluffer
Censoring Japaneese porn