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Family psychology CHAPTER 4 (5) Making safe place for conflict (Healthy…
Family psychology CHAPTER 4
5) Making safe place for conflict
Learn how to express disagreement in safe manner
Develop rules in handling conflict protect closeness & promote growth in relationship
Healthy Marriage
Partner sees validity
Distressed relationship
conflict expressed in form of contempt & personal attack
= divorce
respect each other character
Promote safety with recognise conflict & need a call time out
6) Exploring sexual love & intimacy
Good sexual relationship
Expression affecttion
strong marriage
strengthen self-confidence
Healthy sexual relationship need communication
Ability to give & receive sexual pleasure is nature dimension
if this task can't be fulfilled by unexpressed issues that affect the relationship
Providing emotional nurturance
Healthy Marriage
: Spouse provides nurturance & support to each other.
Spouse
should be a
safe place
to show
dependency, failure, disappointment, mourning, illness & aging
.
Otherwise the partner will not be open up if they don't feel the same degree of emotional safety
4) COPING WITH CRISIS
Some crisis have minor or major impact on marriage
Predictable stress (Life cycle in marriage)
Unpredictable stress (Loss of job, illness, death)
Attitude, expectation & taboos often happen in family crisis
Crisis occur on when :-
Demands > Available resources
Stressor produce changes in couple relationship
5 Steps coping crisis in marriage
Maintain perspective & try understand crisis will affect marriage & family members
Avoid blaming each other
Have fun & not allow the problem to dominate
Do not feel helpless
Intervene early with serious crisis
1) Consolidating psychological separation and establish new connections with a family of origin
one must separate 'self' from family before marriage
the role of husband and wife is greater than the role of son or daughter.
McGoldrick's listed factors that make maritial adjustment phase more difficult
partners have different power, socioeconomic status or career option
one spouse is financially dependent on the other
husband tries to isolate wife rom family, friends and work to gain full control
couple maries late or early
wife become pregnant before or within first year of marriage
unstable maritial pattern in extended family
Fused couple ( become one)
failed to differentiate from family of origin
fail to take responsibilities for themselves
inhibit couples from sorting priorities and have difficulties solving small issue.
toilet seat should be up or down
who takes away the trash
who wash dishes
3) BECOMING A PARENTS
Decision to have a child
Factor increase number of couple remain childless
Women unsure about having children than men
Changing role of women in society when have a children
Effect unexpected changes lifestyle in couples
Women fear their spouse not share childrearing responsibilities
When have a children, it will form triangle
Mother too involve with child
Father distance himself & busy with work
Father feel wife spends too much time with child
Parents should :-
Establish rules that maintain safety, parental authority & encourage growth
Provide the child support
Provide adequate opportunities for child to be themself
Too little time with child - Distance from child
Too much involvement - Excessive closeness with child
Preserving a double vision
Remembering old memories while dealing with current realities.
It requires partner to remember the loving aspects of the relationship while confronting daily issues demands
Healthy couples are able to remember images of when the first met
Couple who share stories with each other, & with family & friends, solidify their relationship