1st episode begins with us looking for shitty lawns. we pull up and find a fucked up lawn , "wow look at this piece of shit lawn, you see this? camera follows as we point out dog shit and broken shit..[peter interview: it's been a tough month, nobody wants their lawn cut this season, so we're looking for customers ourselves"] ruben:"i'm an actor, i used to be in a telemundo sitcom" we go up to the front door and knock on it. "sir your lawn is complete shit." pull out my card "we're grass hermanos, the top landscaping company in austin, texas" - peter:"so where are you from ? "- "i'm from jamaica" - "OH Jamaica MOn? i'm from there also boom clop boodie boodie! " - "really? what part?" - peter:"uhm..... da boom clock!" -ruben in the back "da boom clock" cut i like to build a relationship with my customers. yak now buy their trust."quickly to interview of customer: "i've just been too buys to mow my lawn, and too broke to hire people ,i've been looking for community service workers" - cut to ruben: "peters one of the best salesmen in the world, he can convince any customer to buy our service" - show cut scene of peter talking to a female customer he's trying to seduce "so what sup baby , we gonna mow that nice lawn of yours or what?" she slams the door. ] [i'm like a lizard, i can adapt to any situation, that's what makes grass hermanos unstoppable"] [peter in office: how do stay motivated? motivational tapes." they'e in the truck with peters voice blaring over them] show them at the customers lawn, he points out some problems "ya mon this crab grass is bad" - "and can you make sure to watch my.." - ruben runs over his entire lawn gnome set with the mower " - customer(in hilarious high pitch accent) "wtf mon! that's my gnome set!" - "look sir, we all make mistakes, ruben here has a condition where his head wreighs more than his body and it can be hard for him, but we'll make sure to get these gnomes replace for no extra cost" - "ok mon please do that" - [peter interview:"Ruben was dropped a couple times as a baby, and i think that left him damaged" ] - ruben interview: "peter knows how fix anything, i think he got if from our dad, he's a mechanic" [show peter using tape to fix everything. ] so far the service hasn’t been great, first of all, they had me sign a contract, who tf signs a contract for a 30$ lawn job? show peter making him sign "we charge extra for dog shit, extra for bagging your chips, this is like a tax for using your water" [peter:”according to mowers digest. the customer is always right, And some customers are weird as shit, some customers are cheap bitches.. so we implemented contracts to make things smooth incase we happen to get a weirdo” - add scene of them at the apartment introducing everything.- peter takes them to his apartment, show him going around putting up grass hermanos flyers, messing with some kids, they go into the apartment, show kitchen moment, show the magazine he reads “this is mowers digest, our main goal is to some day have grass hermanos on the front cover” embarrasses ruben, ruben shaking his head [ruben:”peter was dropped a lot as a baby.. we think that has a lot to do with his behavior”]
in the end peter’s a genius for implementing the contract. Customer looks at him “I’m not paying for this shit, I could have had a convict community service do this” – peter looks at him “look don’t make this weird dawg.. don’t make this weird” – “what? I’m serious, I’m not paying for this shit.” – peter sighs “al right, you’re making it weird” – peter pulls out the contract. "whats it like being the youngest business owner in america? next to mark Zuckerberg, fuck facebook.”
EDIT: make it so the customer is spanish and we're dumb greengo's that can't speak spanish , he can't understand my accent so we act it out like dwight did for an asian.."he had a terrible lawn for a mexican" - to convey how bad and knowingly stupid we are, make it so we fail at the end of every episode.. but we a