Listening

Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication proces

Barriers to Effective Listening

Non-Verbal Signs of Ineffective Listening

Further Signs of Ineffective Listening and Faulty Listening Behaviors

Common Barriers to Listening

Previous experiences – we are all influenced by previous experiences in life,For example,We respond to people based on personal appearances, how initial introductions or welcomes were received and/or previous interpersonal encounters(positive or negative)

You make judgments, thinking, for example that a person is not very bright or is under-qualified so there is no point listening to what they have to say.(negative)

You have preconceived ideas or bias(negative)

You are prejudiced or biased by race, gender, age, religion, accent, and/or past experiences.(negative)

Sympathizing rather than empathizing - sympathy is not the same as empathy, you sympathize when you feel sorry for the experiences of another, to empathize is to put yourself in the position of the other person.(positive)

Identifying rather than empathizing - understanding what you are hearing but not putting yourself in the shoes of the speaker(positive)

Feeling unwell or tired, hungry, thirsty or needing to use the toilet(negative)

Not focusing and being easily distracted, fiddling with your hair, fingers, a pen etc. or gazing out of the window or focusing on objects other than the speaker(negative)

You are not interested in the topic/issue being discussed and become bored.(negative)

You find the communicator attractive/unattractive and you pay more attention to how you feel about the communicator and their physical appearance than to what they are saying(positive or negative)

Trying to listen to more than one conversation at a time, this includes having the television or radio on while attempting to listen to somebody talk; being on the phone to one person and talking to another person in the same room and also being distracted by some dominant noise in the immediate environment.(positive)

Preoccupation - when we have a lot on our minds we can fail to listen to what is being said as we're too busy concentrating on what we're thinking about(positive)

Having a Closed Mind - we all have ideals and values that we believe to be correct and it can be difficult to listen to the views of others that contradict our own opinions(negative)

Lack of eye contact with the speaker – listeners who are engaged with the speaker tend to give eye contact. Lack of eye contact can, however, also be a sign of shyness

Being distracted .For example, fidgeting, doodling, looking at a watch, yawning

An inappropriate posture - slouched, leaning back or ‘swinging’ on a chair, leaning forward onto a desk or table and/or a constantly shifting posture

Inappropriate expressions and lack of head nods.For example, Lack of head nods can mean the opposite – listening is not happening

Pseudo-listening: when we imitate listening and give the appearance of being attentive. We look the other in the eye, nod, smile at the right times and even answer but we aren’t really listening

Sudden Changes in Topic: When the listener is distracted they may suddenly think about something else that is not related to the topic of the speaker and attempt to change the conversation to their new topic

Selective Listening: Our ability to just hear what we want to hear or what is relatively…this is when you hear your name spoken on the TV or start listening when someone starts talking about snowboarding and you snow board

Defensive Listening: Defensive listeners take innocent comments as personal attacks. For example, If someone says “Hey I like your haircut!” a defensive listener might respond “Well what was wrong with it before?

Ambushing: When we listen carefully but only because we are collecting information to attack what the other has said.

Insulated Listening: This is like the opposite of selective listening. Instead of looking for something specific to listen for, these listeners avoid certain topics and “insulate” themselves from things they don’t want to hear.

Insensitive Listening: When we don’t receive another person’s messages clearly..when we are unable to “get” the nonverbal cues from another

tage-hogging: Stage hogs try to turn the topic of conversations to themselves instead of showing interest in the speaker.

Daydreaming: Daydreaming can occur when the listener hears something that sets off a chain of unrelated thoughts in their head – they become distracted by their ‘own world’ and adopt a ‘far-away’ look.

Advising: Some people want to jump in early in a conversation and start to offer advice before they fully understand the problem or concerns of the speaker

Formulating a Response – thinking of something to say and interrupting the speaker with your own thoughts, finishing other people’s sentences.

Making Assumptions – assuming you know what somebody is going to say based on preconceived ideas, bias, stereotyping and previous experiences

Common listening misconceptions

Hearing is the same as Listening

We Listen Better As We Get Older

Intelligent People are Better Listeners

I am a good listener

Gender Affects Listening Ability

It is difficult to learn how to listen

We all learn to listen from an early age and spend a lot of our time listening (see our Listening Skills page for more information). How well we listen depends on the circumstances of the communication, our motivation to listen and our personality.The skills needed for effective listening are not difficult to learn - the key to developing your listening skills is practice and consistently applying good listening skills across all communication situation

overestimate their own listening abilities and underestimate the listening abilities of others but ffective listening can only be measured by the understanding that you gain – this will inevitably vary for different situations and for different people.
Good listening is not a skill that we are born with, it is not a natural gift. Without practice and training we are unlikely to be particularly effective listeners.

Although being bright and having a good vocabulary may make it easier to process information and gain understanding, these qualities do not necessarily make clever people better listeners. For example, very intelligent people may be more likely to get bored with a conversation and ‘tune out’, thinking about other things and therefore not listening.

Good hearing enables you to hear and interpret sound, but listening is a lot more than simply hearing. Effective listening means focusing on the meaning of the words that you hear and putting them into context to gain an understanding.You have good listening skills is not mean that you can defininate the information well

This doesn't mean that women are better listeners than men, or vice-versa, but that there may be differences in the ways in which messages are interpreted. During a conversation men and women are likely to ask different types of questions of the speaker to clarify the message – their final interpretation of the conversation may, therefore, be different.

As we go through life, gaining experience and understanding of the world around us our capacity for listening is likely to improve. Whether we utilize this capacity and actually listen more effectively depends on our personalities, the particular situation and avoiding any bad habits we may have.It is easy to pick up bad habits for listening – in much the same way as it is to pick up bad habits for other skills that we use frequently. When we learn to drive, for example, we are taught to use our mirrors, to signal and to keep both hands on the steering wheel – in the 10 to 2 position

Types of Listening

General Listening Types

Specific Listening Types

Other Listening Types

Discriminative Listening

Comprehensive Listening

Discriminative listening is first developed at a very early age – perhaps even before birth, in the womb. This is the most basic form of listening and does not involve the understanding of the meaning of words or phrases but merely the different sounds that are produced.For example,In early childhood,a distinction is made between the sounds of the voices of the parents – the voice of the father sounds different to that of the mother.

Comprehensive listening involves understanding the message or messages that are being communicated. Like discriminative listening, comprehensive listening is fundamental to all listening sub-types

Comprehensive listening is complimented by sub-messages from non-verbal communication, such as the tone of voice, gestures and other body language

Critical Listening

Therapeutic or Empathic Listening

Informational Listening

According to the article,I feel interested in understand the difference between hearing and listening; the barriers and misconceptions of listening; the types of listening; listening responses; suggestions for good listening and active listening.I really distinguish the differences between hearing and listening and it let me know i should use some skills to do more pratise on how to listen to others.I want to ask a question after i reading this article,i desire to ask that when we communicate with others,is it to talk to people first or listen first?To sum up,I think although the article used a lot of examples from the community to prove what he saying, it should show more his personal experience and the quotes from some experts of listening to prove the key ideas in the article

Whenever you listen to learn something, you are engaged in informational listening. For example, This is true in many day-to-day situations, in education and at work, when you listen to the news, watch a documentary, when a friend tells you a recipe or when you are talked-through a technical problem with a computer – there are many other examples of informational listening too

We can be said to be engaged in critical listening when the goal is to evaluate or scrutinize what is being said. Critical listening is a much more active behavior than informational listening and usually involves some sort of problem solving or decision making

Empathic listening involves attempting to understand the feelings and emotions of the speaker – to put yourself into the speaker’s shoes and share their thoughts

The 10 Principles of Listening

Avoid Personal Prejudice

Listen to the Tone

Be Patient

Listen for Ideas – Not Just Words

Empathize

Wait and Watch for Non-Verbal Communication

Remove Distractions

. Put the Speaker at Ease

Prepare Yourself to Listen

stop Talking

Don't talk, listen. When somebody else is talking listen to what they are saying, do not interrupt, talk over them or finish their sentences for them

Relax. Focus on the speaker. Put other things out of mind.

Help the speaker to feel free to speak. Remember their needs and concerns. Nod or use other gestures or words to encourage them to continue

Focus on what is being said: don’t doodle, shuffle papers, look out the window, pick your fingernails or similar. Avoid unnecessary interruptions

Try to understand the other person’s point of view. Look at issues from their perspective. Let go of preconceived ideas

A pause, even a long pause, does not necessarily mean that the speaker has finished

ry to be impartial. Don't become irritated and don't let the person’s habits or mannerisms distract you from what they are really saying

Volume and tone both add to what someone is saying. A good speaker will use both volume and tone to their advantage to keep an audience attentive; everybody will use pitch, tone and volume of voice in certain situations

You need to get the whole picture, not just isolated bits and pieces. Maybe one of the most difficult aspects of listening is the ability to link together pieces of information to reveal the ideas of others

Gestures, facial expressions, and eye-movements can all be important. We don’t just listen with our ears but also with our eyes – watch and pick up the additional information being transmitted via non-verbal communication

Active Listening

Active listening is a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice.Active listening not only means focusing fully on the speaker but also actively showing verbal and non-verbal signs of listening

Signs of Active Listening

Verbal Signs of Attentive or Active Listening

Eye Contact

Posture

Smile

Mirroring

Non-Verbal Signs of Attentive or Active Listening

Distraction

Remembering

Questioning

Positive Reinforcement

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Obtain information.

Start a conversation.

Test understanding.

Draw someone into a conversation.

Show interest in a person.

Seek support or agreement.

Reflection

Closed Questions

Open Questions

Clarification

Summarization