Listening

Listening

Vocab

Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process.

Discriminative listening is first developed at a very early age – perhaps even before birth, in the womb. This is the most basic form of listening and does not involve the understanding of the meaning of words or phrases but merely the different sounds that are produced.

Listening is Not the Same as Hearing

Studies have shown that, whereas speaking raises blood pressure, listening brings it down

Hearing refers to the sounds that you hear, whereas listening requires more than that: it requires focus

EXAMPLE: Adults spend an average of 70% of their time engaged in some sort of communication, of this an average of 45% is spent listening compared to 30% speaking, 16% reading and 9% writing.

Barriers to Effective Listening

other types of ineffective listening lead to misunderstandings and a breakdown in communication

Trying to listen to more than one conversation at a time

You find the communicator attractive/unattractive

You are not interested

Not focusing

Feeling unwell or tired

Identifying rather than empathizing

Sympathizing rather than empathizing

You are prejudiced or biased

You have preconceived ideas or bias

You make judgments

Previous experiences

Preoccupation

Having a Closed Mind

Non-Verbal Signs of Ineffective Listening

Lack of eye contact with the speaker

An inappropriate posture

Being distracted

Inappropriate expressions and lack of head nods

Further Signs of Ineffective Listening

Sudden Changes in Topic

Selective Listening

Defensive Listening

Ambushing

Insulated Listening

Insensitive Listening

Stage-hogging

Daydreaming

Advising

Formulating a Response

Making Assumptions

Common Listening Misconceptions

Misconception One: It’s Difficult to Learn How to Listen

Misconception Two: I’m a Good Listener

Misconception Three: Intelligent People are Better Listeners.

You are likely to see benefits in your social and personal life too – effective listening leads to a deeper understanding and you are likely to develop stronger and more meaningful relationships with others

Example: For example, very intelligent people may be more likely to get bored with a conversation and ‘tune out’, thinking about other things and therefore not listening.

Good listening is not a skill that we are born with, it is not a natural gift. Without practice and training we are unlikely to be particularly effective listeners.

Misconception Four: Hearing is the same as Listening

Hearing is a passive process - like breathing - we do it without thinking. Listening, however, is a learnt skill and an active process. Our brains have to work harder to process the information that we hear and see in order to understand the meaning of the message. Understanding is the goal of listening.

Misconception Five: We Listen Better As We Get Older

As confidence improves people tend to pick up bad habits – they are less likely to concentrate fully on their driving, the process becomes ‘automatic’.

Misconception Six: Gender Affects Listening Ability

Women tend to place a higher value on connection, cooperation and emotional messages, whereas men are generally more concerned with facts and may be uncomfortable talking about and listening to personal or emotional subjects.

Comprehensive listening involves understanding the message or messages that are being communicated.

Informational Listening: Whenever you listen to learn something, you are engaged in

critical listening when the goal is to evaluate or scrutinize what is being said

Emphatic listening involves attempting to understand the feelings and emotions of the speaker

7 types of responses to listening empathically

Advising, Judging, Analyzing, Questioning, Comforting/Supporting, Prompting, and Paraphrase

The 10 Principles of Listening

Appreciative listening is listening for enjoyment

Rapport Listening
When trying to build rapport with others we can engage in a type of listening that encourages the other person to trust and like

A salesman, for example, may make an effort to listen carefully to what you are saying as a way to promote trust and potentially make a sale.

Stop Talking, Prepare Yourself to Listen, Put the speaker at ease, remove distractions, empathize, be patient, avoid personal prejudice, listen to the tone, Listen for ideas, Wait and watch for Non-verbal Comm.

Signs of Active Listening

Smile, Eye Contact, Posture, Mirroring, distraction,

Positive Reinforcement, Remembering, Questioning,