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Listening (The 10 Principles of Listening (Remove Distractions (Focus on…

- - - - The key to developing your listening skills is practice and consistently applying good listening skills across all communication situations.
    - - Generally people overestimate their own listening abilities and underestimate the listening abilities of others.Believing that you are a better listener that others is unlikely to be true unless you have taken the time to learn and practice your listening skills over a period of time.
    - - Although being bright and having a good vocabulary may make it easier to process information and gain understanding, these qualities do not necessarily make clever people better listeners.
        
        Reading is often associated with intelligence and with building vocabulary
    - - Good hearing enables you to hear and interpret sound, but listening is a lot more than simply hearing. Effective listening means focusing on the meaning of the words that you hear and putting them into context to gain an understanding.
    - - The first misconception about listening is that the skills involved are difficult to learn.
    - - It is easy to pick up bad habits for listening – in much the same way as it is to pick up bad habits for other skills that we use frequently.
      - People do not automatically become better listeners as they get older - without practice and consciously thinking about listening there is no reason why listening will improve, it may actually get worse.
    - - Women tend to place a higher value on connection, cooperation and emotional messages, whereas men are generally more concerned with facts and may be uncomfortable talking about and listening to personal or emotional subjects.
- - - - Simply asking questions can be a great way to demonstrate you are listening and want to understand.
    - - These responses are when you agree, offer to help, praise, reassure, acknowledge or offer a welcome diversion.
    - - This is when the listener offers an interpretation of the speakers message.
    - - These are all of the small silences, brief statements, smiles, nods, and grunts that prompt the person to keep talking.
    - - This is when we evaluate the senders thoughts or behaviors in someone. It good be good like “That’s a great idea!” or unfavorable like “An attitude like that won’t get you anywhere”. Be careful with judgmental responses.
    - - A paraphrase is when we reflect to the person what we heard them say in our own words.
    - - When we offer a solution. Typically characterized by “you should”. Sometimes advising can be helpful but usually it is not
  - - - When trying to build rapport with others we can engage in a type of listening that encourages the other person to trust and like us.
    - - Appreciative listening is listening for enjoyment.
- - - - Although a strong signal of attentiveness, caution should be used when using positive verbal reinforcement. Some positive words of encouragement may be beneficial to the speaker the listener should use them sparingly so as not to distract from what is being said or place unnecessary emphasis on parts of the message.
    - - The human mind is notoriously bad at remembering details, especially for any length of time.
    - - The listener can demonstrate that they have been paying attention by asking relevant questions and/or making statements that build or help to clarify what the speaker has said.
        
        Obtain information.
        
        Start a conversation.
        
        Test understanding.
        
        Draw someone into a conversation.
        
        Show interest in a person.
        
        Seek support or agreement.
      - Closed Questions
        
        Closed questions tend to seek only a one or two word answer (often simply 'yes' or 'no') and, in doing so, limit the scope of the response.
      - Open Questions
        
        Open questions broaden the scope for response since they demand further discussion and elaboration.
    - - Reflecting is closely repeating or paraphrasing what the speaker has said in order to show comprehension.
    - - Clarifying involves asking questions of the speaker to ensure that the correct message has been received.
    - - Repeating a summary of what has been said back to the speaker is a technique used by the listener to repeat what has been said in their own words.
  - - - Small smiles can be used to show that the listener is paying attention to what is being said or as a way of agreeing or being happy about the messages being received.
    - - It is normal and usually encouraging for the listener to look at the speaker.
    - - Posture can tell a lot about the sender and receiver in interpersonal interactions.
    - - Automatic reflection/mirroring of any facial expressions used by the speaker can be a sign of attentive listening.
    - - The active listener will not be distracted and therefore will refrain from fidgeting, looking at a clock or watch, doodling, playing with their hair or picking their fingernails.