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Charisma University (The Inner Game (6 Magnetic Mindsets (No matter what,…
Charisma University
The Inner Game
Learning
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Shorter, frequent study beats cramming
When first starting, use the "shotgun approach"
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How to Not Give a Fuck
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If you don't have your own philosophy, one will be given to you by others.
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Stop Self Doubt
Physical - move, exercise, splash water on your face
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If you have a strong enough "why", you can do anything. Have a better "yes" than any "no".
Get honestly and self-righteously pissed off that you have let someone else control how you feel about anything, especially yourself.
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5 Life Changing Habits
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Meditation
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Joy, Gratitude, Positivity, Non-Judgement
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6 Magnetic Mindsets
No matter what, I will be OK
Eliminate all the "what ifs". It will be ok, you'll move on.
Shows immunity to social pressure, towards which people gravitate.
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Start Going First
extend praise, share, be vulnerable, crack a joke, take the social risk.
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Be More Self Aware
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Honesty before Integrity
Give yourself permission to live in paradox, live honestly before putting it into action
Self Image List
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Make a second list - exclude the verb "to be" (or "I am") - use actions, concrete things you've done. I spend my time doing X.
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Build Habits that Stick
Create small habits - put on your running shoes, you're more likely to run/exercise once they're on.
Trigger - a ritual or small routine that reminds you to perform your habit. When you open the fridge, fill up a water bottle.
Feedback - a trigger that you finished and to do it again. When the water bottle is empty, refill it and congratulate yourself for drinking it.
Confidence Action Habit
Break someone else's pattern - enthusiasm, messing with them, etc. Get them to respond to you in a way that is abnormal.
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Respect, Conflict, and Hard Talks
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High Pressure Situations
High Pressure Situations Cause us to do the exact opposite (reflexively) of what we should - we need to recognize this and stop it.
Rather than shut down and defend, consciously use open body language and move slower
Slow the breath, take a deep breath
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Have a Framework
Dating - intrigue/fun, sharing/comparing values, physical/sexual tension (eye contact, then physical contact that escalates)
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5 Low-Confidence Tells
"Obviously", "I Already Know That", or "That's Easy to Tell"
Dismissive, tries to prove intelligence
Instead, put yourself on the same path - "I was just reading something like that, that's interesting" or "I did a paper on this once that was similar" - state when/how you learned similar information
"You Should"
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Add a qualifier - "if", or "in my opinion" or "in my experience"
"Real" - "A real man", "real music", "A real X"
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"No, but..."
People want emotional validation, this phrase negates what they say and their position
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Tough Conversations
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Only speak in facts/feelings. If it isn't 100% true, don't say it. It must be irrefutably true.
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"When you do this, it makes me feel..." is good
On this occasion, you did x, it made me feel y" is good
Go on record early - don't bottle it up and fume, address problems immediately
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High Emotions
Socratic method: ask questions whenever possible to guide someone to making your conclusion on their own
De-escalate
Beware of reptile brain - once they are yelling/aggressive, it is pprobably time to take a break
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7 Low-Confidence Phrases
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Uh...umm...like...
Use silence to your advantage, own that space. Drop filler sounds.
I'm sorry (but)...
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Also, don't turn around and try to justify the behavior afterward
You probably don't care/You probably won't like it anyway, but...
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