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enhancing communication abilities (Enneagram (traits for analytics) (2:…

- - - - marriage
      - merits and shortages both exist
      - complementary and enjoy to love and being loved
      - decide to love her and have a better communication in order to build a happy family
- - - - But it can take place all the times due to the personal and environmental constraints?
    - - some people are dominated in visual message but some in sound, e.g. boss like diagram or table or chart presentation but secretary prefers to use words
        
        it affects the selection of communication channels
        
        visual vs hearing types
      - communications like passing a ball to the recipient but needs attention if it is well received
    - - motives, attitudes, tones (38&), messages (7%), body gesture (55%)
        
        asking children to drink sour with care intention but it was perceived as being scold --> align motive, message, body gesture (attitude) and timing
    - - understand others' situation --> deep feeling and potential concerns
        
        message content
        
        voice
        
        tones
        
        facial expression, eye sight
        
        body guesture
        
        respect, sincerity, unconditional acceptance >>knowing
        
        receptive wording, caring, guiding, encouraging, attention & patient, nodding, relaxing smile
        
        attention & to understand others: similar to watch film and stand in others' shoes
        
        destructive actions
        
        interrupting
        
        playing the role of experts: quickly shifting to providing solutions
        
        neglect others' feeling and potential problems
- - - - prefer using text, drawing, tables, charts, color, pictures, images...
      - e.g. changjie input method or 9 slices
      - text structure, coherence or elegance
        
        spot the typos, misspell words
      - expression: card, sms, emails
    - - prefer narrating or dialogues in sound or voices, musics, rthym, clear articulation, rising and decline tones
      - dislike the long text passage
      - prefer direct dialogues
      - sound content and quality
      - using pronunciation input methods
      - study: read aloud his notes; recite
      - talking about life, music concerts
    - - prefer experiences, feeling (e.g. hot, cold, scary, ...)
        
        hands on experience, touch
        
        sensitive to material quality, softness, comfortableness, roughness, smoothness, body touch
        
        vocabularies: gentle, enthusiastic, indifference, cool, warm, comfort, thick , thin, weight, quality
        
        free allocations of things
        
        e.g. home feel does not fit to study mind but library feel
    - - indulge in analysis
        
        silent, little responses
        
        focus on thinking, analysis, analyzing the received message
        
        like structure, systems, procedural communication, comprehension
        
        lack of sound rhyme; self-dialogue often
        
        love in silence
        
        analyze or associate the text in procedures to get deep impression
        
        let spouse understand your love and perceived of love attitude
- - - - -ve: time controls, risky to meet deadline, work overtime, teammates' reasonable concerns, self-reliance, less trust to others, easily lose focus, forgetting deadline
      - +ve: continual improvements, sensitive observations and spotting mistakes
      - strategy to avoid conflict: setting scope, timelines, concerning the importance and value of other tasks, concerning others' feeling and effort (not to be overloaded), key is to balance between the quality and time & effort constraints
      - e.g. a quality demanding supervisor who was not aware of the other projects and others' needs
  - - - giving primary hw time to help others
      - strategy: appreciate her caring attitude to others and then let her know the influence of her late hw to mum's performance at work --> asking her keep hw well finished in time that in turn help her mum
  - - - push forward, challenges takers
      - -ve: compare
      - set goal to achieve, enjoy the process and eventually show attainments to others
    - - make use of others to achieve their goals
        
        clearly define the workload or duties
      - boast his/her attainments
        
        respond with questioning the unreasonable logic or fact
        
        not to give feedback when he wants to show off
    - - focus on win or lose; refocus on the rapport and relationship building
  - - - +ve: art oriented, rich in emotion, imaginative
      - -ve: over imaginative --> sadness, frustrations
    - - strategy: think of other less expensive ways to touch the nature
  - - - good at classification, use the specific way to get along with others, personal space, solicitor, quiet and not able to well express his inner emotion, scare to be explored by others, need to warm up and stay apart
  - - - keep asking, clarifying --> annoyance of others
        
        strategy: to respond with questions --> what is the safety without risk? --> encourage to take action
        
        -ve: negative & frightening emotion --> keep thinking, scare fault, stressful, over sensitive, stuck --> need safety & peace
    - - strategy: take initiative to give feedback for stabilize his mind of uncertainty
    - - others think it is too conservative, indecisive, lately action for the first step
    - - strategy: work division - e.g. such type of persons is fit for cautious investment in long term
  - - - value power --> let them have final decision; tend to protect others --> request his/her help to settle
        
        expression techniques
      - stand firm in principles, even helping others
  - - - -ve: scarify self-right or benefits, hard to say no, not intended to achieve, not ambitous
        
        Strategy: others take advantage of nice guys -> decisive to say no & protect her own right, believe relationship built on fairness & not necessarily entertain all people
      - +ve: goodness, meek, talent, merits, excellence
        
        strategy: as scold or complain --> withdraw or recess, so appreciate or encourage --> making progress or improvement
- - - - criss-cross test
  - - - son: submissive, quiet
        
        motivation to make changes
        
        need training and courages
        
        to be independent and decisive
      - dad: submissive, indifference
    - - hostile vs tolearance
        
        frequent arguing, no recession
        
        put down hostile but tolerate others' insufficience
      - subjective vs objective
        
        subjective feeling, stick on self-perspective, not understanding others' points or rationales
        
        arguing
        
        put down subjective glasses but using objective mind to understand others' viewpoints
      - dominant vs submissive
        
        insist on self-perspective, requesting spouse to submit
        
        put down dominant gun but to use submissive heart to win others' love
    - - subjective: emotion leading, not logical, common sense, others' faults not misunderstanding
      - hostile: argue, criticize, scolding, opposing others
    - - hostile: demand without considering feeling; criticize and hurt others in words; comments others' foolish without considerations
      - indifference to others' difficulty
      - nervous: complain colleagues' work pace
      - hurt work relationships
    - - dominant, leading, not submissive
      - self-confidence, insist his own opinions
      - resolution: clearly defined work area
    - - quiet
        
        lack of social skills
      - inhibited
        
        refrained, lack of response, others hard to find common interests or talking points
      - submissive
        
        followers
      - subjective
        
        thought others' rejection, not understanding him, as aliens
        
        ordinary people's exchanges and groups
    - - too dominant; flatten others' opinions
      - hostile: harsh words without concerning recipients' feelin
      - subjective: not logical, no wrong doing
      - indifference to others' difficulties, neglect others' negative comments
    - - too nervous --> stress, anxiety
      - depressed
        
        not optimistic towards uncertainty
      - subjective: undesired outcome, giving up, depressed
    - - inhabit
      - feel embarrassed when expressing love
      - empathy but not know how to express
      - indifference due to being hurt experience --> self-defensive
    - - active-social
        
        eat, play, create atmosphere in a group, joking with others, initiative to make fun
        
        expressive-responsive
        
        instant feeling
        
        less concern others' culture and feeling
        
        embarrassing words
      - indifference to others' feeling
        
        joking on others
      - impulsive
        
        immediate joking without concerning others' feeling
        
        instant spending
    - - history: killing a dog
      - religious
        
        tear drop
- - - - happily living together
  - - - dynamics in human interactions
      - difficult to change others
        
        first change myself
        
        my change will influence others
        
        change at the moment right now