Chapter 7: Wholesome Friendships and Chapter 8: The Value of Church
Friendships
Church community
Intro: Story with Emery
Super late to meeting
Emery struggling with what he wants to do vs mom
The first I felt comfortable to talk to for him was me.. I had not talked to him in over two years.
What are Biblical friendships
definition in document
Jesus' model of friendship?
Technology info
Sherry Turkle quote
150 friends
Social media is draining our ability to connect with those who are most important to us
We're feeling more lonely than ever before
General criteria: Analyze their character
People with similar values, similar direction
People that are able to encourage the good and call out the bad
Inner Circle
Close friends
Mindset of building friendships
People that enjoy doing similar things that you do
Be selective. You don't have to be friends with everyone
exception: this doesn't mean all of your friends have to be in the same religion as you. I'm friends with someone that considers himself an agnostic...
Friends that are people that will help you grow to become more like Christ.
Those who you can be truly vulnerable on a consistent basis
Take the initiative to discover and grow friendships
12 disciples
the inner circle of three
Intro
Prov 18:24
Jim Rohn: We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
Preferable someone in the same gender, exception if you're currently in a relationship, or married
Jesus had the inner circle of Peter, James and John
Definition
These people are monumental in shaping who we are
Vulnerability breeds emotional intimacy, which is how connected you are to a person emotionally
Setup
Stories
JJ
Jason
Jon
We all experience some form of shame of who we are and/or what we've done
We all have deep dark secrets
Some of us live with this lie that if people knew who we truly are, they wouldn't love us.
If they knew I was/did.., then they wouldn't love me. (multiple examples)
Some of you have been more to be more independent in life (different examples) maybe Jason
The lie is that you have to figure things out on your out. Struggle til you make it.
Put up the facade that you're ok, when you're really not.
Vulnerable defined
Brene Brown: To let ourselves be seen, to love with our whole hearts, even though there's no guarentee
My relationships example
Emery example
We all struggle. The lie is believing that we have to struggle
By sharing your struggles, you become raw and honest with others. You grow in accepting who you really are.
Stick analogy
No guarentees of betrayal. There will be people who you deem as trustworthy but who will backstab you.
Jesus experienced betrayal
Some things should not be shared to a person of an opposite gender.
Easy for you to start liking them, other way around, visa versa. You could be motivated to get into a relationship with someone be
These people are those we intentionally invest in on a weekly basis
These are the people that you enjoy doing life with, sharing darkest secrets, people that you really trust
Story of Michele
Story of Sally
End point: Some people have inner circle friends that are of opposite gender. It's possible, but the challenge might not be worth it.
Definition: people that you intentionally catch up on a monthly basis
Reference general criteria
Example: Kayla, Kenny
These are people that you enjoy spending time with, but you're not as vulnerable about aspects of yourself
People that you can have fun with
Intro: address flaws
Grew up in generally supportive church
There were definite hardships
Experienced betrayal when a family friend began to speak ill will towards my mother and my sister
Good friend group
Consistent pastor
Involved in various ministries
Split our church group in half
Mom/sister still hurt
Negative experience in Singapore
Bullied
Caveat: A church is a hospital for those who are hurting and need healing from Jesus
Don't be surprised to find people that are sick there.
Definition
A church is a community of flawed people that seek to embody Christ on earth.
Three points
Place of guidance
Place of communal growth
Safe space with people whom you share common beliefs and values
Myth: church is found in a building
Therefore you don't need to be in a building to go to church
Not sure: Church is a group of people
Fellowship with like-minded believers
Place of communal growth
Place of guidance
Verses
Body of Christ on Earth
Goal is to share about who He is and what He has done for us
Colossians 1:24
Romans 12:4
Romans 12:14
Different people have different strengths
It's important to reach out to those when you need help in things not experienced. (Mentors)
Alex Nicaulescu: mentor
Maturity is the process of God working in us to restore His image in us and to restore His connection with us.
It takes time, and it also takes others.
We cannot see our own blind spots
Sermons are important, but not the only aspect of guidance in a church setting
Intentional interaction with others forces us to learn what it means to love others
A Christian life isn't complete without interaction with others. We aren't mean to life on a hill alone for the rest of our lives.
Story: First Service with micromanaging
Worshipping God with others helps you recognize that you're a part of something bigger than yourself (purpose)
Praying for others and having others pray for you
If there is not a community of believers that is a place that you can call home, create church for yourself.
Early apostles met in homes (acts 2:24-46, acts 12:12-17)
Story: GLOW frustrations
You can be friendly, but you don't have to be everyone's friend
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