Conflict: the expressed struggle between two or more interdependent…
Conflict: the expressed struggle between two or more interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, limited resources and interference from the other party in achieving their goals
Destructive or Constructive?
The social system should not be adjusted to meet the needs of members; rather, members should adapt to the established values.
Confrontations are destructive and ineffective
Conflict is a destructive disturbance of the peace.
Disputants should be punished.
All issues are subject to change through negotiation.
Direct confrontation and conciliation are valued.
Conflict is a normal, useful process.
Conflict is a necessary renegotiation of an implied contract—a redistribution of opportunity, release of tensions, and renewal of relationships.
Limited time, Winning impossible, Win Win impossible, Issues are relatively minor.
No one really satisfied, Will resurface, Miss creative solutions.
You have power, Not concerned with relationship, Limited time, Issue so important the consequences worth it, Issue is urgent, Issue unimportant to other.
Other's needs unmet, Other has repressed anger, Other feels bad about self, Damaged relationship, No commitment to 'solution, Miss creative solutions.
You see reason to satisfy other's needs, You want to avoid confrontation, When it's possible.
Miss creative solutions, No guarantee other's n eeds met, Encourages pattern of avoiding, Miss basic issues, Creates a new problem, Often expensive.
Issue important to both, Relationship important, Issue is complex, Creative solutions needed, Future commitment needed.
Takes time, Takes trust in self and others, Takes skills in problem solving, listening, and confronting, Working on needs before solutions, Separating needs from values, Separating issues from people.
Issue unimportant, No time, Winning impossible, other has power, Emotions high, Value collisions, Not enough information, Harmony worth it, It's not your problem.
Miss creative solutions, Will resurface in worse form, No closure, Self is denied, Encourages further avoidance, Unmet needs, Repressed anger.
Win-Win problem solving:
Ask them to paraphrase you to make sure they understand what you said
Ask them what they want and need
Describe your problem and needs to them using I-Language
Paraphrase their wants and needs to be sure you understand them
Make a date with them to find the right time to talk about the problem
Negotiate a solution
b. Generate a number of possible solutions
c. Evaluate the alternative solutions
a. Identify and define the conflict
d. Decide on the best solutions
1.Identify your problem and unmet needs
Follow-up on the solution to see if modifications are needed
Types of conflict:
Conflict of interest
Negotiation of Selves Conflict
Assertive messaging steps:
Describe how their behavior makes you feel.
Describe the consequences of their current and ongoing behavior.
Offer your interpretation of the other person’s behavior.
Describe your intentions.
Describe the observable behavior.