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The Messy Mind of Rebecca IMG_5500 (Religion and Philosophy (Seeing the…

- - - - Becomes difficult to hold conversations in person; feeling more comfortable on text
        
        Do they pros even outweigh the cons?
      - Having internet friends
        
        Allows me to fall deeper into a conserved, introverted lifestyle
      - Takes many years to be able to hold face-to-face conversations again
    - - Caring too much about appearance
        
        Anxiety about fitting in
- - - - Internal conflicts
        
        Debates with family
        
        Can I identify as both? Leads to an internal crisis
      - Pro-LGBT rights, but the Bible is not
      - Pro-Choice; frowned upon in Christianity
        
        Currently on birth control for medical reasons
        
        Some of my friends and family gave me a hard time about this, as it is seen as an "opportunity for a more sexually active lifestyle"
        
        Educating those about the health benefits of birth control
      - Pro-Marijuana Usage; this is a grey area in the Bible but typically frowned upon
  - - - Is this in my control?
  - - - Other Christians have attacked me on my views via social media
      - Explaining what feminism is, why reverse racism doesn't exist, how racism is still alive today, and why women should have control of their own bodies
- - - - Lead to me being an overall more educated and more enlightened citizen
    - - Difficult to focus as technology has created a society that goes to their phones when bored
    - - Family called this a book that "worships Satan"
        
        Having to feel conflicted about my religious beliefs at a very young age
  - - - Leads to me discovering my true self
        
        My true self is passionate about helping others, cares for all people and animals, and has been able to overcome many obstacles
  - - - Assisting in dance classes gives me a passion for teaching
      - Placed a heavy financial burden on my family
        
        Loving dance, but having to stop dancing competitively due to money constraints
        
        Feeling like what I loved most is out of reach for me
        
        Guilt that follows me to this day
      - Mother was my first teacher; sister also danced
- - - - Leads to needing medication to allow me to do my day-to-day activities
        
        These medications have a lot of negative side effects and can be dangerous if misused
        
        Sister (who also has anxiety) uses marijuana instead; lives in a state where this is legal
        
        Why isn't this legal everywhere?
        
        Directly goes against my Christian beliefs
        
        Family gives her a hard time, but I have supported her and continue to back her up
    - - Leads to heightened anxiety
      - Difficulties in trusting others
        
        Leads to a very conserved social lifestyle
      - Perhaps a big role in why I am introverted
        
        What would my life have been like if this hadn't occurred?
  - - - I sometimes felt inferior to others, although when looking back on this it seems silly to say
        
        My height is not something that made me inferior to others
    - - Gaining weight as a I hit puberty
        
        My ballet teacher telling me to "lose my curves" if I want to become a dancer
        
        Leads to me always having body image issues, even though I am still pretty thin
      - Hormonal Imbalances
        
        Led to needing to take birth control at 15
        
        Side affects from birth control also brought about higher anxiety and symptoms of depression, as well as weight gain
- - - - Can I even afford these schools?
    - - 21 hours a week of dance
        
        Staying up late results in drinking more coffee
        
        Coffee is a stimulant that heightens anxiety
- - - - How do I go about doing so?
        
        Meditation is a way to focus on the real aspects of the self
        
        Also helps calm my anxiety, particularly with my schoolwork
- - - - Which one should I believe?
    - - Humans should not be considered the top of the pyramid of life
        
        Not being able to stop this mentality leads to guilt
        
        Doing my best as an individual is all I can do
  - - - I have been told that my high anxiety/stress could have played a large role in this
      - Missing a lot of school, especially as a child
        
        Feeling left out and not good enough