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Communication Climate (Six patterns of behavior in a relationship that…
Communication Climate
Six patterns of behavior in a relationship that evoke defensive reactions and contribute to the cycle of defensiveness
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Control: When we perceive that someone is attempting to change us or impose on us a solution for a problem
Strategy: When we perceive that someone is trying to manipulate us or to conceal or disguise his or her true motives
Neutrality: When we perceive that someone is indifferent to our feelings and unconcerned about our welfare
Superiority: When we perceive that someone assumes that he or she has a higher status or worth than we do or acts in unilateral manner that shuts out feedback
Certainty: When we perceive that someone holds an unyielding and dogmatic position that is not open to dialogue
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Defensive Language
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Strategy: Manipulation, calculation; having an unspoken agenda
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Superiority: Speaker reminds you frequently of their perceived greater status; uses position or social role as a reason why the other should do something
Certainty: Sees things in a singular way; characterized by "always" "never" "only" language; has low tolerance for disagreement
Supportive Language
Description: Neutral statements that describe observable behavior; give it context and report its impact on you; use "I" language
Equality: Speaker may have greater talents, but communicates that they see you as having equal worth as a person
Problem-Solving Orientation: Collaboration on a solution that is satisfactory to both; win-win; asks instead of tells
Flexibility: Would rather investigate than debate; characterized by "maybe" "perhaps" "this is how I see it" and more tentative language
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Empathy: Verbal and nonverbal displays of support; paraphrasing, prompting, validating, supportive language
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