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Conflict (Types of Conflict (Understanding the different ways of valuing…
Conflict
Types of Conflict
Understanding the different ways of valuing conflict is a first step toward engaging in productive conflict interactions.
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• Conflict of Interest: when people disagree about a plan of action or what to do in a given circumstance.
• Value Conflict: A difference in ideologies or values between relational partners is called value conflict.
• Cognitive Conflict: is the difference in thought process, interpretation of events, and perceptions
• Negotiation of Selves Conflict: when our identities and how we think the other person sees us conflict.
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Conflict Management
- AVOIDING/DENYING: I lose, you lose.
- ACCOMMODATING: I lose, you win.
- COMPETING: I win, you lose.
- COLLABORATING: I win, you win.
- COMPROMISING: I lose, you lose (I win you win a little?)
if we plot our interests and our investment in the other person another way to think of the choices is in terms of winning and losing.
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Assertive Message
when you need to confront someone, especially if they have power in the situation.
Describe the observable behavior: not use evaluative language, just like the first step of a perception check.
Offer your interpretation of the other person’s behavior
Describe how their behavior makes you feel.
Describe the consequences of their current and ongoing behavior.
Describe your intentions. how you will respond if the behavior continues.
What is conflict?
Conflict is the expressed struggle between two or more interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, limited resources and interference from the other party in achieving their goals
Conflict as Destructive
four assumptions of viewing conflict as destructive:
- Conflict is a destructive disturbance of the peace.
- The social system should not be adjusted to meet the needs of members; rather, members should adapt to the established values.
- Confrontations are destructive and ineffective.
- Disputants should be punished.
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Conflict as Productive
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four assumptions of viewing conflict as productive:
- Conflict is a normal, useful process.
- All issues are subject to change through negotiation.
- Direct confrontation and conciliation are valued.
- Conflict is a necessary renegotiation of an implied contract—a redistribution of opportunity, release of tensions, and renewal of relationships.
conflict provides an opportunity for strengthening relationships, not harming them.
It is a chance for relational partners to find ways to meet the needs of one another, even when these needs conflict.
ex: if a couple has been dating for a while, one of the partners may want to marry as a sign of love while the other decides he/she wants to see other people.
ex: Michael and Lisa are observing the same interaction but have a disagreement about what it means.
ex: as a17 year old living at home you might argue with your parents about what time to be home on a Friday night.
- withdraw from the situation
- maintain neutrality
- accede to the other parties
- maintain harmony
- minimally acceptable to all
- relationship undamaged
- zero-sum orientation
- win/lose power struggle
- expand range of possible options
- achieve win/win outcomes
- Evaluate the alternative solutions
- Generate a number of possible solutions
- Evaluate the alternative solutions
- Decide on the best solutions
- could be a request, ex: “Please come to work on time.”
- how you will behave in the future, ex: “When you make racist jokes in the future, I will say something to you in front of everyone and then I will report you to your supervisor.”
- where you stand on the issue, ex: “I want you to know how much it upsets me when you don’t look at me.”
In my personal experience, the negotiation of selves conflict often happen in my daily life. Being as a 17 years old student, when I was still in Taiwan, I always arguing with my parents about what time should I go home at night. For me, I think I’m old enough to take care of myself and wanted to spend more time hanging out with my friends; but for my parents, they still view me as someone they should protect and had control of.
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