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Conflict (Types of Conflict (• Value Conflict (A difference in…

- - - - Issue unimportant, No time, Winning impossible, other has power, Emotions high, Value collisions, Not enough information, Harmony worth it, It's not your problem.
    - - Miss creative solutions, Will resurface in worse form, No closure, Self is denied, Encourages further avoidance, Unmet needs, Repressed anger.
  - - - You see reason to satisfy other's needs, You want to avoid confrontation, When it's possible.
    - - Miss creative solutions, No guarantee other's n eeds met, Encourages pattern of avoiding, Miss basic issues, Creates a new problem, Often expensive.
  - - - No one really satisfied, Will resurface, Miss creative solutions.
    - - Limited time, Winning impossible, Win Win impossible, Issues are relatively minor.
  - - - You have power, Not concerned with relationship, Limited time, Issue so important the consequences worth it, Issue is urgent, Issue unimportant to other.
    - - Other's needs unmet, Other has repressed anger, Other feels bad about self, Damaged relationship, No commitment to 'solution, Miss creative solutions.
  - - - Issue important to both, Relationship important, Issue is complex, Creative solutions needed, Future commitment needed.
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    - - Takes time, Takes trust in self and others, Takes skills in problem solving, listening, and confronting, Working on needs before solutions, Separating needs from values, Separating issues from people.
- - - - Describe the observable behavior: Describe the behavior, being careful to not use evaluative language. This first step is just like the first step of a perception check.
      - Offer your interpretation of the other person’s behavior: Again this is like the perception check. State why you think they are engaged in the behavior. Go ahead and offer two interpretations if you want.
      - Describe how their behavior makes you feel. While this is a consequence of the behavior it is important to state your feelings separate from the other consequences.
      - Describe the consequences of their current and ongoing behavior. These consequences could be to you, to them and/or to others.
      - Describe your intentions. This is a statement of how you will respond if the behavior continues. This statement could be a request (“Please come to work on time.”). It could be a statement of how you will behave in the future (“When you make racist jokes in the future, I will say something to you in front of everyone and then I will report you to your supervisor.”) Or, it could be a statement of where you stand on the issue (“I want you to know how much it upsets me when you don’t look at me.”)