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Interpersonal Relationships (Personal vs. Social Relationships (Personal…
Interpersonal Relationships
Personal vs. Social Relationships
Personal relationships
meet emotional, relational, and instrumental needs, as they are intimate, close, and interdependent relationships such as those we have with best friends, partners, or immediate family
Social relationships
are relationships that occasionally meet our needs and lack the closeness and interdependence of personal relationships
Stages of Relational Interaction
There are ten established stages of interaction that can help us understand how relationships come together and come apart
Coming together
Initiating: people size each other up and try to present themselves favorably
Experimenting: people exchange information and often move from strangers to acquaintances
Intensifying: we indicate that we would like or are open to more intimacy, and then we wait for a signal of acceptance before we attempt more intimacy
Integrating: two people's identities and personalities merge, and a sense of interdependence develops
Bonding: includes a public ritual that announces formal commitment
Coming apart
Differentiating: communicating individual differences becomes a primary focus
Circumscribing: communication decreases and certain areas or subjects become restricted as individuals verbally close themselves off from each other
Stagnating: relationship may come to a standstill, as individuals basically wait for the relationship to end
Avoiding: may be a way to end the awkwardness that comes with stagnation, as people signal that they want to close down the lines of communication
Terminating: can occur shortly after initiation or after a ten or twenty year relational history has been established
Social Exchange Theory
Essentially entails a weighing of the costs and rewards in a given relationship
Rewards are outcomes that we get from a relationship that benefit us in some way, while costs range from granting favors to providing emotional support
Commitment and interdependence are important interpersonal and psychological dimensions of a relationship that relate to social exchange theory
Interdependence refers to the relationship between a person's well being and involvement in a particular relationship
A person will feel interdependence in a relationship when
(1) satisfaction is high or the relationship meets important needs
(2) the alternatives are not good, meaning the person's needs couldn't be met without the relationship
(3) investment in the relationship is high, meaning that resources might decrease or be lost without the relationship
Relational Dialectics
Another way we can better understand our personal relationships is by understanding the notion of relational dialectics
Three relational dialectics that are constantly at play in interpersonal relationships
Autonomy-Connection
refers to our
need to have close connection with others as well as our need to have our own space and identity
Novelty-Predictability
is the idea that
we desire predictability as well as spontaneity in our relationships
Openness-Closedness
refers to
the desire to be open and honest with others while at the same time not wanting to reveal every thing about yourself to someone else