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Foundations of Relationships (Stages of Relational Interaction (Initiating…
Foundations of Relationships
Personal relationships
: meet emotional, relational, and instrumental needs, as they are intimate, close, and interdependent relationships such as those we have with best friends, partners, or immediate family.
Social relationships
: relationships that occasionally meet our needs and lack the closeness and interdependence of personal relationships. e.g. coworkers, distant relative
Stages of Relational Interaction
Initiating
: people size each other up and try to present themselves favorably
e.g. "My name's Rich. It's nice to meet you"
Experimenting
: where people exchange information and often move from strangers to acquaintances, to the "sniffing ritual" of animals
Intensifying
: indicate that we would like or are open to more intimacy, and then we wait for a signal of acceptance before we attempt more intimacy
Some signs: creation of nicknames, inside jokes, and personal idioms
Integrating
: two people's identities and personalities merge, and a sense of interdependence develops
Bonding
: includes a public ritual that announces formal commitment
e.g. weddings, commitment ceremonies, and civil unions
Differentiating
: reverse of integrating, as "we" and "our" reverts back to "I" and "my"
Circumscribing
: communication decreases and certain areas or subjects become restricted as individuals verbally close themselves off from each other
e.g. "I don't want to talk about that anymore"
Stagnating
: the relationship may come to a standstill, as individuals basically wait for the relationship to end
Avoiding
: a way to end the awkwardness that comes with stagnation, as people signal that they want to close down the lines of communication
e.g. "I don't want to talk to you anymore."
Terminating
: can occur shortly after initiation or after ten or twenty-year relational history has been established
Social Exchange Theory
essentially entails a weighing of the costs and rewards in a given relationship
Commitment and interdependence are important interpersonal and psychological dimensions of a relationship that relate to social exchange theory
Interdependence: refers to the relationship between a person's well-being and involvement in a particular relationship
The weighing of costs and rewards in a relationship affects commitment and overall relational satisfaction
Relational Dialects
Autonomy-Connection
: refers to our need to have close connection with others as well as our need to have our own space and identity
Novelty-Predictability
: idea that we desire predictability as well as spontaneity in our relationships
Openness-Closedness
: refers to the desire to be open and honest with others while at the same time not wanting to reveal every thing about yourself to someone else